Motivation is overrated, discipline is what you need. Or is it?

I had something light planned for this article. Summer is here, we are all a bit slower, and the last thing anyone needs is a heavy read with their morning coffee. 

But then a conversation I couldn't let go of happened a few weeks ago, and this has been sitting in my head ever since. So light will have to wait.

Here it is. 

When we are unable to do something: Is motivation really what's missing,  better habits, or are we asking the wrong question entirely? 

I spend a lot of time on this in my work with people. It comes up in one form or another in almost every session when someone is stuck. The answer everyone lands on eventually is the same: I just need more motivation. Or its twin: I need more discipline, because motivation alone clearly isn't enough. 

Which makes sense. Because the way most of us think about it goes something like this.

Simple. Linear

First comes clarity on what you want:  a picture, a vision, something concrete to move toward. That picture creates motivation: the energy and direction to actually do something about it. Then you set goals, plan, execute. Rinse and repeat as many times as needed.

When it stops working, you do one of two things: you push yourself to find more motivation, or you tighten your planning, milestones and tasks to carry you through the days when motivation fails. You make discipline your ally.

And it works a bit more,  until it doesn't.

Because at some point most of us hit a wall that neither motivation nor discipline seems to fix. You push harder and still drift. You plan better and still stall. 

But what if the issue is not the balance between the two? What if something is missing entirely?

Introducing the MMG triangle (Name pending, suggestions welcome)

Zoom out for a second. The line is still there, but it turns out it was never the whole picture. Step back far enough and you see a triangle.

Three corners. Three things that are related but distinct. 

Meaning — the WHY, not always the why you can explain. The felt sense of why something matters to you specifically, in a way that doesn't fully translate to someone else. It resists the Post-it. It doesn't belong to a timeline; it only really recognises the present.

It lives in feeling.

Motivation — the WHAT FOR. The direction meaning points you in. It's personal and articulable, and tangible enough to be able to translate in a plan. "I want to live healthily." "I want to build something of my own."

It's forward-facing. It lives in actionable thinking.

Goals — the HOW. Specific, time-bound, measurable. The manifestation of closing the gap between where you are and where you want to be. They have a start and an end.

They live in daily actions.

A simple example to make it concrete. Your motivation is to live healthily. Your goal is to start running. Straightforward enough. 

But underneath the motivation, why do you care about living healthily? Not the general answer. The real one. Maybe it's because you want to see your grandkids grow up, or to age well and be present for the moments that matter most. That's not a goal. It has no deadline. You can't measure it on a scale. But it's the thing underneath everything.

That's meaning. And without it, the goal of starting to run is just a task on a list.

When motivation is rooted in meaning the goal stops being a target and starts being an expression of something worth pursuing. And on the days motivation goes low -  which it will - there is something deeper holding you in place.

And the corner that was missing from the original model is the one that explains most of what motivation and discipline alone couldn't fix.

These three corners don't just sit there. They move. Between each other and around: there is a direction to it, a loop. 

When it works, what you do feels worth the effort and less draining than you'd expect. When it breaks - usually in ways that are more specific and diagnosable than you'd think - you can hit every target and still feel like something is missing. 

That loop, what it looks like when it flows, and how to spot exactly where yours breaks, is what we get into next time. And yes, it gets heavier (You have been warned). 

For now, one question worth reflecting on before then.

You probably know your motivation. You might even have clear goals. But do you know the WHY underneath your WHAT FOR? Can you feel it, not just describe it?

Have a lovely day, 

Serena

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